the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
