whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My bed is full of blood and feathers
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
