maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
