He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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