I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
