At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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