We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
