I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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