it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
