actually, I'm a sock model
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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