she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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