If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
