I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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