Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
