Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
