Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
