just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
