hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
