Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
