We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
