I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he shaved USA in his pubs
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
