I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
