IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
