You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
