You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
