Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
