I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
