so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
