i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
