Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
