Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
