It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
