i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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