I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
