Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
