Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
