ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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