Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
