youre lurking in front of me
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
