help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
