You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
