dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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