Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
