The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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