I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
