grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
