it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
