Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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