what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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