Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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