hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My ass is underappreciated
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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